how to waste time, or not

I have read a lot about wishing, hoping, and praying, Now I used to spend most of my day doing this. When I was married, my husband did a lot of things that were hurtful, for example he never paid our bills, he used to say " any one who is stupid enough to give me credit  will get paid back if and when I feel like it". I begged him to let me look after paying the bills, ( after all I was the one who was working) but no, that was a man's job.
I could go on and on but it never changed. I would work as hard and as much as possible to show him that it could be better for us, he only found fault with something about me and I never  ever was able to get him to understand that he was an adult and should take responsibility for his actions. Again I hoped, wished and prayed constantly.
then after many years I came to understand 2 things (1) he was never going to be responsible, and (2) if I wanted change the I had to make that change.
Hello world, it worked, I told him I was tired of raising an adult child and that I wanted a divorce, because I knew I could do much better on my own.
He of course told me again I was stupid, incompetent, useless, a terrible mother , a lousy wife, . A big fat slob who would, with in 6 weeks be back on my knees begging him to come back.
I left and never looked back, yes there were times that I was afraid, times I was lonely, and yes times I had doubts about my abilities, but now the wishing hoping and prayers were not to make some one  else change, but rather that I be able to overcome any and all obstacles. That was in 1979, I never bothered with a divorce until 1989, I worked every day until 2000 when I became ill and was unable to work any more, but I survived on it and in fact was able to keep my little condo.
Where is dear ex, well as far as I know he is still living of some poor woman who he found in 1990. he never married her because she is a widow and has a nice pension from her late husband. I often thought of sending her a sympathy letter, but she already know what kind of person he is, and I do not need to rub her nose in it.