Some thing I want to print

Integrity includes but goes beyond honesty. Honesty is telling the truth....in other words, conforming our words to reality. Integrity is conforming reality to our words, in other words, keeping promises and fulfilling expectations This requires an integrated character, a oneness, primarily with self but also with others.

Words For Parting

He is made one with Nature; there is heard His voice in all her music, from the moan Of thunder, to the song of night's sweet bird; He is a presence to be felt and known In darkness and in light, from herb and stone... He is a portion of the loveliness Which once he made more lovely. Words for Parting: 2 The courage of the early morning's dawning, And the strength of the eternal hill, And the peace of the evening's ending, And the love of God, be in our hearts. Words for Parting: 3 Farewell! The world is better for your having lived, We are better for having known you. We loved you living- we love you now. Farewell! Words for Parting: 4 Farewell, traveler. We do not know your destination but our love and gratitude go with you. Rest now- in peace- and in the love we bear you.

excellent ideas for self

written by Frank Herbert, so true

The thing the ecologically illiterate don't realize about an ecosystem is that it's a system. A system! A system maintains a certain fluid stability that can be destroyed by a misstep in just one niche. A system has order, a flowing from point to point. If something dams the flow, order collapses. The untrained miss the collapse until too late. That's why the highest function of ecology is the understanding of consequences.

7 things to remember Madison Sonnier

“We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.” ~Lori Deschene

Sometimes I am really terrible to myself and relentlessly compare myself to other people, no matter how many times I read or hear about how good enough or lovable I am.

On an almost daily basis, I meticulously look for evidence that I am a nobody, that I don’t deserve to be loved, or that I’m not living up to my full potential.

There is generally a lot of pressure to “stack up” in our culture. We feel as if there is something wrong with us if, for example, we’re still single by a certain age, don’t make a certain amount of income, don’t have a large social circle, or don’t look and act a certain way in the presence of others. The list could truly go on forever.

Sometimes in the midst of all the pressure, I seem to totally forget all the wonderful, unique things about myself.

I get stuck in my head and allow my inner critic to completely tear apart my self-esteem until I hate myself too much to do anything except eat ice cream, watch daytime television, and sleep.

The other day, while I was beating myself up over something I can’t even recall at the moment, I read a comment from one of my blog readers telling me that one of my posts literally got them through the night. Literally. And if that one simple word was used in the intended context, this person was basically telling me that one of my posts saved their life.

I get comments like these on a pretty regular basis, and they always open my eyes to just how much I matter, regardless of my inner critic’s vehement objections.

Such comments also open my eyes to all the things we beat ourselves up over thatdon’t matter—like whether or not we look like a Victoria’s Secret model in our bathing suit, or whether or not we should stop smiling if we’re not whitening our teeth, or whether or not the hole in our lucky shirt is worth bursting into tears over.

Lately I’ve been trying harder to catch myself when I feel a non-serving, self-depreciating thought coming on. And I may let these thoughts slip at times, but that’s okay because I’m only human.

While my self-love journey is on-going, here are a few things I try to remember when I’m tempted to be mean to myself:

1. The people you compare yourself to compare themselves to other people too.

We all compare ourselves to other people, and I can assure you that the people who seem to have it all do not.

When you look at other people through a lens of compassion and understanding rather than judgment and jealousy, you are better able to see them for what they are—human beings. They are beautifully imperfect human beings going through the same universal challenges that we all go through.   

2. Your mind can be a very convincing liar. 

I saw a quote once that said, “Don’t believe everything you think.” That quote completely altered the way I react when a cruel or discouraging thought goes through my mind. Thoughts are just thoughts, and it’s unhealthy and exhausting togive so much power to the negative ones.     

3. There is more right with you than wrong with you.

This powerful reminder is inspired by one of my favorite quotes from Jon Kabat-Zinn: “Until you stop breathing, there’s more right with you than wrong with you.”

As someone who sometimes tends to zoom in on all my perceived flaws, it helps to remember that there are lots of things I like about myself too—like the fact that I’m alive and breathing and able to pave new paths whenever I choose.

4. You need love the most when you feel you deserve it the least. 

This was a recent epiphany of mine, although I’m sure it’s been said many times before.

I find that it is most difficult to accept love and understanding from others when I’m in a state of anger, shame, anxiety, or depression. But adopting the above truth really shifted my perspective and made me realize that love is actually the greatest gift I can receive during such times.  

5. You have to fully accept and make peace with the “now” before you can reach and feel satisfied with the “later.” 

One thing I’ve learned about making changes and reaching for the next rung on the ladder is that you cannot fully feel satisfied with where you’re going until you can accept, acknowledge, and appreciate where you are.

Embrace and make peace with where you are, and your journey toward something new will feel much more peaceful, rewarding, and satisfying.

6. Focus on progress rather than perfection and on how far you’ve come rather than on how far you have left to go.

One of the biggest causes of self-loathing is the hell-bent need to “get it right.” We strive for perfection and success, and when we fall short, we feel less than and worthless. What we don’t seem to realize is that striving for success and being willing to put ourselves out there is an accomplishment within itself, regardless of how many times we fail.

Instead of berating yourself for messing up and stumbling backward, give yourself a pat on the back for trying, making progress, and coming as far as you have.     

7. You can’t hate your way into loving yourself.

Telling yourself what a failure you are won’t make you any more successful. Telling yourself you’re not living up to your full potential won’t help you reach a higher potential. Telling yourself you’re worthless and unlovable won’t make you feel any more worthy or lovable.

I know it sounds almost annoyingly simple, but the only way to achieve self-love is to love yourself—regardless of who you are and where you stand and even if you know you want to change.

You are enough just as you are. And self-love will be a little bit easier every time you remind yourself of that.

Photo by KelseyyBarbara

found this on facebook, good idea

Shame , shame , on you

I just read an article about a woman who lived with shame. Sound familiar, well it sure did to me. I am 70 years old and still let shame keep me back, I allow it to rule my days and nights.
What am I ashamed of, well for one I am so ashamed of my body, I am short fat, and I believed ugly. I said I believed ugly because that is what I was told in so many words, I remember when I was around 9 years old and my mother told me to keep my hair clean as it was the only redeeming feature I had, She told me when I was 11 years old she was so ashamed of me for being so fat that she never wanted to be seen with me in public. And I made that come true. If for any reason I was with my family in a public place I walked way behind them like I wasn't even with them, When I got married I got my Aunt to drive me to the church so my mother and dad never got to be seen with me. There is only one picture of me with the family and it was taken when my younger  brother got married, I had no choice but to be in it, but the look on my face is a horror to see, I look like a rabbit caught in the light of an oncoming truck, and that is how I felt when I was sent that picture about 3 years ago. I had never seen it befor that.




I made sure that never happened with my children, and yet I can recall obsessing about my daughters weight, as well as my sons. But that was for health reasons, when I found I was doing the same with my granddaughter I knew it was time to accept my self as I am and all those around me. It is not about your looks it is about your heart and soul.

An other new year

Time fly's no matter what, I am going to have to keep a notebook on me at all times, I had a wonderful idea for my blog a week ago and be damned if I can think of what it was.
I know it was something about letting my past ruin my future, as I seem to dwell on the past and that isn't a good idea, can't go back and change anything, but shouldn't let it affect my future by comparisons. I think I will work on the one day at a time idea, only with regard to what I am doing in the there and now.
On to a new subject I have a new kitten in my life, I always said I wouldn't have a pet because I couldn't afford the vet bills, But last september I was looking out in my back yard at 4 am and saw the sweetest little kitten with an angel face, I told a neighbor in the building and soon the tiny little thing had been captured and was on his way to the pet rescue, I said I would love to keep him but I had nothing to even keep him for a day, with in 5 minutes I had cat food, flea drops, a pet carrier, litter box with new litter init, as well as a promise for some one to look after him for a month while I was housesitting in Vancouver,
So now I am now a very proud pet parent, and wouldn't change any thing for the world, on a final note I looked into pet insurance and it was reasonable enough to purchase  and thanks to my niece  as she offered to pay for half of it, The little guy's name is nubbins and he is the most beautiful cat I have ever seen, probably a bit prejudice  there