I seem to be running around in circles. I find something that I believe will aid my life and go whole hog and then I seem to loose momentum.I have to question my motives, when I start out I am looking forward to what will happen, and then for some reason I give up.
I honestly believe this is self sabotage, in one way or another, and perhaps I should discover why I keep doing this to my self.
To the best of my knowledge I am not a horrible nor a bad person. Yes I have done some thing wrong, but from childhood I have always felt unworthy.
this could be a part of my learning as a child that my step mother didn't want me or my brother around. And yes this woman was not a very nice person and left a lot of scars in my life. But I was a child, now I am a grandmother and still he cutting words seem to dominate my life.
How I will ever get bast this worthless, useless feeling is beyond me, and that is sad as It is taking away any Chance of advancement I try.
How do I start today with this is a whole new day, what happened yesterday or a life time ago, can not affect me. I am better than that .
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