Family

It is funny when I got a "family" picture from my sister, it brought back a flood om memories.Not many of them good. And I think that should be addressed, because I have been carrying around a boat load of stuff in my head, and I am not even sure if it is all true or is it just stuff I perceived and felt bad about or even good about. then filed away for future reference, and now when I do recall it all the negative and awful feelings come rolling back.
I am not sure how our minds work but if there were some way to "file away" thoughts but in a manner that that is less self destructive and less harmful , I for one would love to know about it.
I often hear of people who carry around all this anger, resentment, fear and loathing for so long that they break under the strain of just hauling it about.
I do remember thinking about my life and felt I was sitting on the edge of a garbage pit, and there were thousands of bags of  garbage, and I just couldn't seem to let them go, I would have to open a few bags just to see what was inside, and then for the next several months I was angry, and frustrated because I kept thinking a bout all that stuff.
There did come a day that I some how found the courage to just get up and walk away from that pit. I now no longer have any desire to go back and open any of those memories.
Am I ignoring them, no I just choose not to let them rule my life. And I keep telling myself that no one goes to a garbage dump to look for something good,
When we want the best for our selves we should seek it in a bright , well lit space where there are no shadows and nothing to fear, sort of sounds difficult, it is, but well worth the exploration of good stuff rather than make a meal of all the garbage we might still be wishing to chew on.