Letter to Jim

I suppose I should apologize for my anger at you today.

Jim, when I met you, you became my purpose for living, you made me incredibly happy, I felt alive for the first time in years. You did this and so much more. I could have happily devoted the rest of my life to you.

I believe in you and us. The first thing when I woke up to the last thing before I slept was all for you. You were in every sense of the word “my world”

After a while I saw and felt you drifting away, and I worked all the harder to bring you back. Nothing worked, so I gave up. And all to soon, all I could see was how apart we were, and that I was still in a fashion looking after you, but it was done with resentment and anger. You see Jim you left me a long time ago, I was just to stupid to see it. I couldn't admit that one more time I had been used. So I had to send you away, because the more I saw the angrier I became.

Then came the day you admitted that there was no feelings at all for me, that you were here because it was a good place to live and cheap.

That Jan had taken your heart and stomped on it. Well good on for you because you have done exactly that to me. I will go on living, and I will learn to trust again, and I will learn to believe in myself. Because I do not want to be like you and become a heartless old woman who let some one destroy her.

No I will survive and I will be happy again and I will NOT ever be like you. Vengeance is not mine, because vengeance will come back and eat you up until you are ashes.

So now the only thing I feel for you is pity, and sorrow. I truly believe that if we do not learn the lesson we are bound to make the same mistakes over and over again.

I Know what I did wrong, and how not to repeat it, but I believe that you have a great many more lessons to learn, probably not in this life time, but you will some time