Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold ~ Helen Keller.

I read this statement and thought how very true it is.I spent the first 55 years of my life being fearful, fearful of all most every thing. I had a passive aggressive personality and I now know that most people found it at minimum annoying to spend any time around me. I did notice that I had no friends but I attributed that to the fact that I wanted to be invisible, unacknowledged, let others always choose, and yes I was intimidated by every one.Not a very nice life? But I did feel safe.
It wasn't until I found out how I affected others, or how they perceived me that I was able to change. In 2000 I was taking a life skills coaching course. Because I thought I could help people. lol. there I found out what people thought of me.
We were doing part of the course where You have to give the rest of the group information on how they affect you..I thought oh boy this is going to be good because now I will have validation on how good of a person I am.
My turn came and I sat in the center of the circle, the first person told me I dominate all the conversations with long stories that most of the time did not pertain to the subject.The next told me I never gave an answer, just you choose.and so on and so on, until th last person , Her name was Robin and I thought she really like me. Her words were"I am so glad I met you, because I never, never, want to be like you. I will remember you always as an example of some one I never want to be".
Sound vicious, well it felt worse, but the lesson was about taking information as just that, information, to your head, and I of course took it to heart, and I was devastated, I wanted to quit, run away. leave the class. I never spoke to any one after that class for the rest of the day. I went home and told my daughter I was quitting. they were mean, not fare, My daughter told me to do what I wanted. Some how during the night I must have seen what they were trying to tell me. I went back and read my notes on personalities, and if you look under any list for that behavior you would have seen that I was every one of them.
I will not say I changed over night, but I did start working on my self, it is still in progress but now I am honestly  working on being assertive, and balanced. I know I am much more likable, but I still tend to be a loner, and some times people think I am cold and stuck up, but if I let them see me as I really am they know I am a very warm and easy to be with person. As I said I am still and always will be a work in progress.