borrowed from Virginia Satir

Here is a good affirmation to read and reflect on…..

“I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it — I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.

Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know — but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.” 
Denis2005 Virginia Satir quotes (American Psychologist and Educator, 1916-1988

question my motives

This past few week I have called on Jim , my for help. We are becoming friends, which pleases me, But and there is a but, I find myself drifting back to when we were together, and most of the things I think about are the good times we had, and I admit I long for them again,
Jim on the other hand appears to have no interest in taking this friendship to a higher level, and I do not want to express my feelings as it may cause him to run,
to keep my feelings under control I make myself remember all the reasons why I asked him to leave, and there were many, but he seems to have learned his lesson as he appears quite attentive, and I admit I find this attractive. as well as the fact that he was a superb lover doesn't help. I have met many men over the past few months and when it come to crunch time I always tell them I am not interested as I want some one as good as Jim in bed, and they may have been, I just didn't feel like trying them out. God that sounds crass, and it feels that way. I have given up looking for some one, and if necessary I hope I can remain friends with Jim, but and there is a but he will start looking for some one else very shortly and I know this, I want to yell at him and tell he him he has the best person for him right in front of him, again I am afraid to even consider this, but I can't let it be like him and Rita, I can see that this is killing her very slowly as she can't get on with her life, , but perhaps she is like me , its Jim or nothing, possibly so. 

After surgery

Well I had my hip replacement surgery on Jan 27, and was back home Jan 30, At first things went well I was getting around well but this last week has been harsh, I think it is because I am on my own and the walls are crowding in. I have a friend down the hall that pops in for a moment every day but that is pretty much my interaction with people.
I can not imaging how for 20 years I lived this way, no friends and not very much of a life. I kept my head down and did my work and that was it.
Today I have come to understand that I dearly want a life, and as soon as possible I am going to join senior clubs and meet new people, just for the social aspect if nothing else.
Sort of has been a wake up call for me and I really intend to follow through with my ideas., I feel better now that I have put that to word

Pale blue dot, by Carl Sagen ( wonderful wisdom

Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every ‘superstar,’ every ‘supreme leader,’ every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there — on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.

starving for passion

For the past few months I can not stop eating, I have tried to diet and the more I try the more devastating the results.
This afternoon I realized I am not starving for food but rather passion, I want/need to be able to make love to some one and to have them make love to me.
When I was with Jim I learned that I was a very passionate and sensual person, And now I understand that I miss that part of my life dreadfully, I crave it, I want it and I need it,
but how to find it again? I can not settle for a one night stand, I want/need a man to have the same passion, desires, wants and needs that I have, not to sate each other but to start a fire that will burn for a very long time, sometimes as a banked fire and some times as a wild fire., to have the love and passion as fuel. This is what I want and have been denied. I now throw it out to the universe, . Is there a man who can pick up this challenge and make our dreams and desires come true, I believe it can happen. I BELIEVE.

borrowed from T2T,Happy NEW yEAR 2012

Believe you are capable

Believing in yourself means you will have to take chances, be prepared to fail, be prepared to learn from those failures and ultimately be prepared to grow as an individual in the process. Believing in yourself is not automatic, believing in yourself means you will have to go against the grain, believing in yourself means you will be met with criticism and believing in yourself means you'll have to consciously be aware of what you are doing at all times. When we take the beaten path and conform to average standards we become average thinkers, we make average choices and live average lifestyles. We are so much more than we give ourselves credit for, but it goes unnoticed because we do not believe in ourselves enough. When people say, “just be yourself” what they should be saying is “just believe in yourself” because it’s impossible to be yourself if you do not believe in yourself first…so…Believe in yourself…you are indeed capable.

borrowed from a post on face book

your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other peoples thinking .Don't  let the noise of others opinions drown out your inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become, Every thing else is secondary.