question my motives

This past few week I have called on Jim , my for help. We are becoming friends, which pleases me, But and there is a but, I find myself drifting back to when we were together, and most of the things I think about are the good times we had, and I admit I long for them again,
Jim on the other hand appears to have no interest in taking this friendship to a higher level, and I do not want to express my feelings as it may cause him to run,
to keep my feelings under control I make myself remember all the reasons why I asked him to leave, and there were many, but he seems to have learned his lesson as he appears quite attentive, and I admit I find this attractive. as well as the fact that he was a superb lover doesn't help. I have met many men over the past few months and when it come to crunch time I always tell them I am not interested as I want some one as good as Jim in bed, and they may have been, I just didn't feel like trying them out. God that sounds crass, and it feels that way. I have given up looking for some one, and if necessary I hope I can remain friends with Jim, but and there is a but he will start looking for some one else very shortly and I know this, I want to yell at him and tell he him he has the best person for him right in front of him, again I am afraid to even consider this, but I can't let it be like him and Rita, I can see that this is killing her very slowly as she can't get on with her life, , but perhaps she is like me , its Jim or nothing, possibly so.