starving for passion

For the past few months I can not stop eating, I have tried to diet and the more I try the more devastating the results.
This afternoon I realized I am not starving for food but rather passion, I want/need to be able to make love to some one and to have them make love to me.
When I was with Jim I learned that I was a very passionate and sensual person, And now I understand that I miss that part of my life dreadfully, I crave it, I want it and I need it,
but how to find it again? I can not settle for a one night stand, I want/need a man to have the same passion, desires, wants and needs that I have, not to sate each other but to start a fire that will burn for a very long time, sometimes as a banked fire and some times as a wild fire., to have the love and passion as fuel. This is what I want and have been denied. I now throw it out to the universe, . Is there a man who can pick up this challenge and make our dreams and desires come true, I believe it can happen. I BELIEVE.

borrowed from T2T,Happy NEW yEAR 2012

Believe you are capable

Believing in yourself means you will have to take chances, be prepared to fail, be prepared to learn from those failures and ultimately be prepared to grow as an individual in the process. Believing in yourself is not automatic, believing in yourself means you will have to go against the grain, believing in yourself means you will be met with criticism and believing in yourself means you'll have to consciously be aware of what you are doing at all times. When we take the beaten path and conform to average standards we become average thinkers, we make average choices and live average lifestyles. We are so much more than we give ourselves credit for, but it goes unnoticed because we do not believe in ourselves enough. When people say, “just be yourself” what they should be saying is “just believe in yourself” because it’s impossible to be yourself if you do not believe in yourself first…so…Believe in yourself…you are indeed capable.

borrowed from a post on face book

your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other peoples thinking .Don't  let the noise of others opinions drown out your inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become, Every thing else is secondary.

this prayer I totally understand and love

Saint Theresa's Prayer

May today there be peace within. 
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. 
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. 
May you be content knowing you are a child of God. 
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing,

My Depression is gone

When I woke up this morning I felt different, and couldn't quite put my finger on it, and with in a few moment I realized that for the past few days I have actually felt happy,  I feel so much better, normal is the word i am looking for,I am not sure if it is finally being over Jim or what, all I know is I feel wonderful and all is great in my world.

Today I am so grateful

The more I think about my history of relationships I am truly grateful that I am on my own. I believe that I have learned a great deal about myself, as well am able to resist changing myself to some one else s idea of what and  who I should be.
Being very familiar with my ways of attracting and trying to keep a man in my life , I believe I must change, and in my opinion, have.
Now I am not willing to settle for less than what I want in a partner, I am not willing to give up my wants, need, and desire to please a man. I will not be a nurse nor a purse. I will find a partner that will respect me as I am, honor and protect me. Some one who wants all that I do and is more than willing to work with me rather than try to get me to agree.
I know he is out there some where, and I am equally positive that I will meet and recognize him. That I will be the partner he has spent a long time looking for.
Today I am happy, and all is good in my world

Merry Christmas

I am feeling a bit more settled, I was in a tailspin about Jim one minute I kept thinking I had made a mistake and wanted to try again, then I would remember what it really was like living with him and I would think I had made the right decision. Well on the 23 he phoned me and told me he has given a ring to an old flame , some one who he would seek out when I was giving him a rough time, I do not believe he was doing any thing but talking but she kept telling him I was no good for him and for him to leave, Well he is all hers and that is going to be the most toxic mix that I have ever witnessed .I can not see this doing him any good and I do not say that in glee, but rather concern as he is 70 and very easily upset and depressed. Both Rita (his wife) and I believe that it is going to be a disaster, and I feel sort of sad as he is blind  to what is going on, but that being said he blindly believes he can deal with it
I can only say "go and be happy in the life you have chosen" (Charles Dickens)