my beliefs have changed

More and more I find myself at odds with the religious holidays.
Quite a few years ago I started to question my religious beliefs,I read a lot of posts from Atheists and agnostics. Eventually my belief had boiled down to there might have been a creator. Now I am questioning that as well.
I truly wish there was a God, but I don't believe there is.
I find myself profoundly agitated when I see and hear people asking for prayers for themselves or others. My first instinct is to tell them get off their collective asses and do something about what they want prayers for.
I am sick of hearing ministers, priests and leaders telling us to believe and have faith. I am almost positive that if there were no god they would learn to take care of them selves and others in a manner that would not require intervention or god or others.
I am appalled at the way religions is used to move, force or strike fear into the lives of believers.
In fact that was my first wayward thought, that religions was to sooth and manipulate the peoples of the earth.
To me a religion is a manipulating, fear mongering  greed fest.
It is also blatantly used to make war on people that believe other people that do not believe as the oppressors do.
History shows that almost all the religions I have researched have been the aggressors and killers of people.
How can anyone possibly in that.
I don't understand those that expect a god to help when they should be intelligent enough to work out their own problems.
I think that 90 percent of the problem would disappear if there were no religions.
there would be no panhandling of a better place after you die.
One of the best things I ever read was a man died and went to heaven and God asked hi" well what did you thing of heaven when you were alive"
That is what I believe we make our own heaven or hell.