Selfish thoughts

I never thought I would say this but I am tired of not being acknowledged for who and what I am.
All of my life I have put others before myself, whether it was parents, husband , children, friends, employers.Every one came first. And to top this off I was proud of this. I thought I was the strong, person that all others could depend on and count on to be there when needed. Now I know that this is so wrong, because I gave away all my strength, courage, and self to people who in reality were more than able to do for themselves. Does this make me some one who has to be in control. I have been accused of that, but in fact I do not believe it was. All the time I was helping others, it was my belief that if I can do something, then others would see that they could too. I didn't do this to keep people under my thumb, but rather a silly attempt to show that if I can do this any one else can as well. All I found was that once volunteered, there after expected.
And now it seems that I still have not gotten the message. in my relationship with Jim I am the one who has to do every thing cooks, cleans, shops, caregiver. And nothing in return. And again I am trying to show him that to be a loving , caring partner we need to do things together, play together, work together. But this is not happening, Jim goes his merry way doing all the things he wants, his leather craft, archery, working part time to the point that there is no time or energy left for me. And I stand here wondering what am I doing this for. He has the best of two worlds, he  can work , play and do as he wishes, and yet be looked after in all ways that he deems necessary. And yes SEX is not one of the,
OMG is ther enot a lesson in here some where. I think so