Most true words in the world

"If nothing changes...nothing changes."..... Anonymous

wonderful thought and very true

. The version found written on the wall in Mother Teresa's home for children in Calcutta: 

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

-this version is credited to Mother Teresa

excellent story and great thoughts

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman. "I've been thinking," he said, "I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone." - Author Unknown

Frustrating and angry today

Today I am angry and frustrated. My hip hurts and I have tried to explain to Jim that I can't wait on him hand and foot, and he doesn't get it. I can barely drag myself around and he wants bacon and eggs. I made them but wasn't very happy about it and now he can't understand .
I admit I am frustrated as I can't go out walking either, I love to wander the malls it is just something I do, but am not able to do so now. And the thing is I can not count of Jim to help me when I will need it, because I need him to be independent right now, and he still wants to be catered to, and waited on hand and foot. I am convinced it is a guy thing, and I foolishly did cater to him ever since I first met him, and now when I need him to do for himself, he is not willing, Bloody Hell

making a plan or goal works

I was thinking about the day I quit smoking it was Feb 19, 1998  at noon. I phoned my doctors office to get a prescription for the patch. I got in to see him at 4pm and went to the drugstore with the prescription for 3 weeks worth of patches, My doctor didn't have time to talk to me about how to quit smoking and said to try it for 3 weeks and then come back and we would discuss a plan that might work for me.
So home I went with my patches, had supper and at 6pm my last cigarette, waited 30 minutes slapped on a patch , and the the work began.
First the patch took care of the cravings but not the HABIT. that was my job and I just about drove myself crazy that night. I kept telling myself if I wanted a smoke I could have one, But I put a ton of conditions on it, first I had to go outside, the walk around the block, then I had to wait another 20 minutes, and if I still wanted one, I had to walk around the block again. Now I chose this because at that time I was a bit on the lazy side, in fact if I could have hitched a ride across my living room if I could have.I choose thing for myself to do that I wouldn't normally have done in a million years.
On the other hand I kept a pack of cigarettes in my freezer, and told my self if I ever really had to have on I could. Some how I managed to not ever need one and threw that self same pack in the garbage one year later.
This was not an easy thing to do but it also was a lot easier than I ever believed it would be. I swore that I would be sitting on top of my coffin saying "wait just one more"
But I did have a plan and found out that to get over the habit, you have to CHANGE your routine. I went back to the pharmacy where I got my Patches from and the pharmacist gave me a wee book to read o the premises, or buy for $23. I sat there and read it in about 20 minutes, and it said you have to do things differently, for instance, if you smoke every time you drink  coffee, take your coffee out side and enjoy the fresh air, if you have a smoke after a meal, immediately. after eating get up and clear the table, and clean up supper do something different than what you did before .
I did make it , and have use the fact that I was able to stop smoking, to assist my self to change other things in my life, because If I stopped smoking and I did I can do any thing I set my mind to, if I have a good plan
Afterthought I used to smoke 2 packs a day and started smoking when I was 11, I was 55 when I stopped,

happiness is here, NOW

for many years I pursued  happiness because I kept thinking that if I had" a better job, more money, a nice place to live, a great husband, I would be happy" Of course I came to realize that you can nor pursue  happiness, you have to find it in your self. I was about 20 when I was in a doctor's office and his receptionist told me of a friend of hers that her friend would only be happy after saving up $10,000 to go home in Europe to visit her family. So for many years she saved every penny she could and after many years had enough to buy tickets to go home.I will be so happy when I step off the plane and see my family she declared.
Well you can guess the rest,  she was killed on the way to the airport in a car crash.So here was some one who saved and scrimped and declared she would never be happy, and she never was.I am now in my late 60's and do not wait to be happy. I find happiness every where I look, at the sun or even a cloudy day, because I carry my happiness around in me. I do not need a special reason to be happy, I am happy because I am much more myself and the way I want to feel.

Selfish thoughts

I never thought I would say this but I am tired of not being acknowledged for who and what I am.
All of my life I have put others before myself, whether it was parents, husband , children, friends, employers.Every one came first. And to top this off I was proud of this. I thought I was the strong, person that all others could depend on and count on to be there when needed. Now I know that this is so wrong, because I gave away all my strength, courage, and self to people who in reality were more than able to do for themselves. Does this make me some one who has to be in control. I have been accused of that, but in fact I do not believe it was. All the time I was helping others, it was my belief that if I can do something, then others would see that they could too. I didn't do this to keep people under my thumb, but rather a silly attempt to show that if I can do this any one else can as well. All I found was that once volunteered, there after expected.
And now it seems that I still have not gotten the message. in my relationship with Jim I am the one who has to do every thing cooks, cleans, shops, caregiver. And nothing in return. And again I am trying to show him that to be a loving , caring partner we need to do things together, play together, work together. But this is not happening, Jim goes his merry way doing all the things he wants, his leather craft, archery, working part time to the point that there is no time or energy left for me. And I stand here wondering what am I doing this for. He has the best of two worlds, he  can work , play and do as he wishes, and yet be looked after in all ways that he deems necessary. And yes SEX is not one of the,
OMG is ther enot a lesson in here some where. I think so

Dreams are the wispers from the soul borrowed from simple truths

Dreams are Whispers from the Soul There are many different aspects that live inside of us and two of them I respectfully dubbed the Dreamer and Doubter. When it comes to pursuing our dreams, The Dreamer is often gung ho while the Doubter can provide a laundry list of concerns and issues. After a speech in Rome, a woman with a beautiful accent asked me to tell her one of my personal dreams. Already own this book? Review it here!

Assuming I'd never see her again, I decided to share a dream I had never spoken out loud, one I had kept such a good secret that even I was beginning to forget it. "My dream is to spend the summer writing in the Greek Islands," I said all in one breath. She handed me her card and replied, "I have a villa in Greece. Why don't you come as my guest?" I was floored and reminded that amazing things happen when we share our dreams. I was elated, or more accurately, part of me was. Here's a peek inside my head. See if this kind of interchange sounds familiar. Dreamer: I am so excited! Doubter: Not me. I don't like this at all. It's far away and could be dangerous. Dreamer: Nonsense. This is my dream handed to me on a silver platter. Doubter/Realist (they're close cousins): Who is going to run your business while you're away? Dreamer: My fabulous team whom I completely trust. Doubter: Well, how's it going to look to your clients that you are out of the country for three months? Dreamer: I think as a Dream Coach, it's going to look pretty good. When you are stuck, procrastinating or worrying, chances are your Doubter has taken over. If ignored, it can sabotage your dreams. So how do you deal with it? Turn the volume down a notch and the Doubter simply becomes the Realist, the part that wants to know where the time and money will come from for your venture. But before you turn down the Doubter, hear from it. It will give you valuable information such as a list of obstacles that you can manage later. Freedom comes as you appreciate its wisdom and insight rather than judging it as the enemy. If you never deal with your doubt and you meet another Doubter on the road, their doubt will magnify yours. However, if you have worked with your own doubt, next time a Doubter challenges you, by contrast it will be the opportunity to deepen your commitment and conviction to your dream.

Borrowed from Tiny Buddha, written by Mary Dunlop, Good inspiring truth's

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

From the time I was a little girl, people told me I was pretty, but I never believed them.  Instead, I scrutinized myself in the mirror searching for ways to look better, not realizing that what I was really looking for was a way to be me and feel good about myself.

As I focused even more on my looks throughout my twenties, I became increasingly self-conscious and dependent on how others perceived me.  If someone complimented me and gave me attention, I would feel confident, but if I went unflattered or unnoticed, I would return to the mirror in an effort to figure out why.

I had often heard the expression “what you are inside shows on your face.” However, I didn’t know what these words truly meant until one day at the age of 35.

That day, I took another long look in the mirror, and suddenly something clicked: My looks were not the problem—they never were.

Somehow I understood that what I didn’t like about my face had nothing to do with my physical features. It was something else; something within myself that was reflecting out and causing me to feel unattractive, ill at ease, and unconfident.

At that moment, I knew there were two things I needed to do. The first was to stop staring in the mirror. The second was to look at what was going on inside.

Soon, a friend recommended meditation, so I gave that a try. I sat, breathed, quieted my thoughts, and shared my feelings in a nine-hour course, which I soon followed with a two-day silent meditation retreat.

It’s possible that a silent retreat may not be for everyone, but, for me, it was one of the most valuable experiences of my life. The two days forced me to meditate, reflect, and “be” with myself in an environment that did not permit social interaction, not even eye contact.

There were also no distractions, such as telephone, TV, books, or computers.

Was the experience disagreeable? Initially, yes. Was it painful? Sometimes, but it allowed me to bring forth a lot of valuable self-information and one remarkable realization: I became conscious of how unnatural I felt.

In the time I was there, I recognized that I was not uncomfortable in that setting because I didn’t know how to be with myself. I was uncomfortable because I didn’t know how to be myself.

This was also why I often felt unattractive and ill at ease with others.

I was frequently projecting someone who didn’t feel “like me,” and that projection habitually depended on who I was interacting with.

It was this realization that launched my journey to authenticity and the discovery of a beautiful me.

Slowly, I started to learn about myself and the things that make me happy, and I found that I had a rhythm. I could hardly believe it, but I actually had my own beautiful flow, and as soon as I began to follow it, my authenticity started to build on itself.

I gradually began to feel less self-conscious around others and much more comfortable with myself.

For the first time in my life I started to feel well and beautiful—and it showed. I saw it in the mirror. My husband noticed it in my body language. He said I carried myself differently, like I had more confidence and ease.

Of course, many practices assisted me in my journey, but the ones that helped the most are the ones that keep me grounded in myself today.

If you’re also looking to feel more at ease with yourself, I recommend:

Honor your body

I can never say enough about how important it is to celebrate my body. Every day, I thank it for all that it does, and honor its needs through 30-40 minute runs, long showers, flossing my teeth, and drinking lots of water.

Make a list of the things you need to do to take care of yourself so you feel healthy and grounded, and then schedule them into your day. It’s easier to feel good about who you are when you make your needs priorities.

Maintain a healthy, positive mind

Along with running, creative writing has contributed greatly to my journey. It keeps my mind filled with positive thoughts, and so much of who I am comes out in the characters I write about.

I also love to read, learn new things, and travel to different places, even if just new areas or neighborhoods near my home.

What practices make you feel passionate and positive about the way you’re living your life? Doing what you love is an important step in loving who you are.

Maintain a happy, healthy spirit

Without inner peace, authenticity is fleeting. Consequently, I meditate daily and do my best to live where peace is found—in the present moment. I also make a point of watching a couple of funny movies every week.

Nothing helps my spirit soar as much as laughter. It helps me see the world through younger eyes and reminds me that, no matter what, every moment contains hope and possibilities.

Take time out to nurture your spirit, whether that means practicing yoga, walking on the beach, or simply relaxing. In order to be comfortable with yourself, you first need to be comfortable just being.

And always keep in mind…

Finding your authenticity—finding yourself—will help you feel your beauty. When you endeavour to be who you are and be true to yourself, you will automatically feel attractive and unique.

Also, it is important to remind yourself that beauty is never dependent upon the approval of others. Quite the contrary, beauty is very much self-defined and self-created. The only person who can ever truthfully tell you “you are beautiful” is also the only person who can “make you beautiful.”

You are the only person who can do this.

The power to be beautiful lies not in the eyes of others.  It comes from deep within you.

What have I learned today

Ever week of so I try to sit down quietly and think about what I have learned. this past week has been nothing but  a lesson on self reliance.
Because I am in a relationship I always gave my partner priority, I always considered him when I did almost every thing, And in the past week I have found that I do not even exist on his priority list.
Unless I am standing there in front of him and in his face, I believe that I do not exist. this was very hurtful to discover, but rather than let it ruin my life and cause all sorts of problems. I intend to go on my merry way doing what ever I want.
I have  to question why he is still here. and I have come to the conclusion that it is an easy way to live all of his needs were met with out question, he has a place to eat , sleep, work, as he sees fit, it costs him a lot less than living on his own.
So those are the benefits for him, but I can no longer see any benefits for my self.Yes I admit he did do a lot of renovations around the house and it was appreciated, but I paid for them.
I have a friend who asked me why I even have him here and I  have no answer. There is no companionship, no sex, and not even friendship, we just are going our separate ways, and meet for meals I prepare.
So I have learned a lot but still have no answers.