Borrowed from Tiny Buddha, written by Mary Dunlop, Good inspiring truth's

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

From the time I was a little girl, people told me I was pretty, but I never believed them.  Instead, I scrutinized myself in the mirror searching for ways to look better, not realizing that what I was really looking for was a way to be me and feel good about myself.

As I focused even more on my looks throughout my twenties, I became increasingly self-conscious and dependent on how others perceived me.  If someone complimented me and gave me attention, I would feel confident, but if I went unflattered or unnoticed, I would return to the mirror in an effort to figure out why.

I had often heard the expression “what you are inside shows on your face.” However, I didn’t know what these words truly meant until one day at the age of 35.

That day, I took another long look in the mirror, and suddenly something clicked: My looks were not the problem—they never were.

Somehow I understood that what I didn’t like about my face had nothing to do with my physical features. It was something else; something within myself that was reflecting out and causing me to feel unattractive, ill at ease, and unconfident.

At that moment, I knew there were two things I needed to do. The first was to stop staring in the mirror. The second was to look at what was going on inside.

Soon, a friend recommended meditation, so I gave that a try. I sat, breathed, quieted my thoughts, and shared my feelings in a nine-hour course, which I soon followed with a two-day silent meditation retreat.

It’s possible that a silent retreat may not be for everyone, but, for me, it was one of the most valuable experiences of my life. The two days forced me to meditate, reflect, and “be” with myself in an environment that did not permit social interaction, not even eye contact.

There were also no distractions, such as telephone, TV, books, or computers.

Was the experience disagreeable? Initially, yes. Was it painful? Sometimes, but it allowed me to bring forth a lot of valuable self-information and one remarkable realization: I became conscious of how unnatural I felt.

In the time I was there, I recognized that I was not uncomfortable in that setting because I didn’t know how to be with myself. I was uncomfortable because I didn’t know how to be myself.

This was also why I often felt unattractive and ill at ease with others.

I was frequently projecting someone who didn’t feel “like me,” and that projection habitually depended on who I was interacting with.

It was this realization that launched my journey to authenticity and the discovery of a beautiful me.

Slowly, I started to learn about myself and the things that make me happy, and I found that I had a rhythm. I could hardly believe it, but I actually had my own beautiful flow, and as soon as I began to follow it, my authenticity started to build on itself.

I gradually began to feel less self-conscious around others and much more comfortable with myself.

For the first time in my life I started to feel well and beautiful—and it showed. I saw it in the mirror. My husband noticed it in my body language. He said I carried myself differently, like I had more confidence and ease.

Of course, many practices assisted me in my journey, but the ones that helped the most are the ones that keep me grounded in myself today.

If you’re also looking to feel more at ease with yourself, I recommend:

Honor your body

I can never say enough about how important it is to celebrate my body. Every day, I thank it for all that it does, and honor its needs through 30-40 minute runs, long showers, flossing my teeth, and drinking lots of water.

Make a list of the things you need to do to take care of yourself so you feel healthy and grounded, and then schedule them into your day. It’s easier to feel good about who you are when you make your needs priorities.

Maintain a healthy, positive mind

Along with running, creative writing has contributed greatly to my journey. It keeps my mind filled with positive thoughts, and so much of who I am comes out in the characters I write about.

I also love to read, learn new things, and travel to different places, even if just new areas or neighborhoods near my home.

What practices make you feel passionate and positive about the way you’re living your life? Doing what you love is an important step in loving who you are.

Maintain a happy, healthy spirit

Without inner peace, authenticity is fleeting. Consequently, I meditate daily and do my best to live where peace is found—in the present moment. I also make a point of watching a couple of funny movies every week.

Nothing helps my spirit soar as much as laughter. It helps me see the world through younger eyes and reminds me that, no matter what, every moment contains hope and possibilities.

Take time out to nurture your spirit, whether that means practicing yoga, walking on the beach, or simply relaxing. In order to be comfortable with yourself, you first need to be comfortable just being.

And always keep in mind…

Finding your authenticity—finding yourself—will help you feel your beauty. When you endeavour to be who you are and be true to yourself, you will automatically feel attractive and unique.

Also, it is important to remind yourself that beauty is never dependent upon the approval of others. Quite the contrary, beauty is very much self-defined and self-created. The only person who can ever truthfully tell you “you are beautiful” is also the only person who can “make you beautiful.”

You are the only person who can do this.

The power to be beautiful lies not in the eyes of others.  It comes from deep within you.

What have I learned today

Ever week of so I try to sit down quietly and think about what I have learned. this past week has been nothing but  a lesson on self reliance.
Because I am in a relationship I always gave my partner priority, I always considered him when I did almost every thing, And in the past week I have found that I do not even exist on his priority list.
Unless I am standing there in front of him and in his face, I believe that I do not exist. this was very hurtful to discover, but rather than let it ruin my life and cause all sorts of problems. I intend to go on my merry way doing what ever I want.
I have  to question why he is still here. and I have come to the conclusion that it is an easy way to live all of his needs were met with out question, he has a place to eat , sleep, work, as he sees fit, it costs him a lot less than living on his own.
So those are the benefits for him, but I can no longer see any benefits for my self.Yes I admit he did do a lot of renovations around the house and it was appreciated, but I paid for them.
I have a friend who asked me why I even have him here and I  have no answer. There is no companionship, no sex, and not even friendship, we just are going our separate ways, and meet for meals I prepare.
So I have learned a lot but still have no answers.

something I must try, , thanks T2T

Just like heat, electricity, light and magnetism are the result of vibration manifestation, thoughts are no different. Focus only on the things you want to see manifesting in your life. Think of reality as a big mirror, reflecting back onto you what your thoughts are showing it to, because that’s what is happening, reality is showing you what you have asked (thought) it to show you. When I sat down and contemplated on this for 5 minutes each day for one week, I began to develop a deeper understanding of how important this truth really is and how reality was showing me what I was asking it to show me. We all know this is true on a surface level but until we actually contemplate, probe and analyze the consequences of the thoughts we entertain we may never get below this level of understanding. Each day whilst doing this exercise my mind was forced to look at this truth from many different angles and I was surprised with the insights I got. Have great day ~ T2T

how to waste time, or not

I have read a lot about wishing, hoping, and praying, Now I used to spend most of my day doing this. When I was married, my husband did a lot of things that were hurtful, for example he never paid our bills, he used to say " any one who is stupid enough to give me credit  will get paid back if and when I feel like it". I begged him to let me look after paying the bills, ( after all I was the one who was working) but no, that was a man's job.
I could go on and on but it never changed. I would work as hard and as much as possible to show him that it could be better for us, he only found fault with something about me and I never  ever was able to get him to understand that he was an adult and should take responsibility for his actions. Again I hoped, wished and prayed constantly.
then after many years I came to understand 2 things (1) he was never going to be responsible, and (2) if I wanted change the I had to make that change.
Hello world, it worked, I told him I was tired of raising an adult child and that I wanted a divorce, because I knew I could do much better on my own.
He of course told me again I was stupid, incompetent, useless, a terrible mother , a lousy wife, . A big fat slob who would, with in 6 weeks be back on my knees begging him to come back.
I left and never looked back, yes there were times that I was afraid, times I was lonely, and yes times I had doubts about my abilities, but now the wishing hoping and prayers were not to make some one  else change, but rather that I be able to overcome any and all obstacles. That was in 1979, I never bothered with a divorce until 1989, I worked every day until 2000 when I became ill and was unable to work any more, but I survived on it and in fact was able to keep my little condo.
Where is dear ex, well as far as I know he is still living of some poor woman who he found in 1990. he never married her because she is a widow and has a nice pension from her late husband. I often thought of sending her a sympathy letter, but she already know what kind of person he is, and I do not need to rub her nose in it.

one more perception, that I need

Taught2Think: Positive thoughts for Positive results

“We could say that meditation doesn't have a reason or doesn't have a purpose. In this respect it's unlike almost all other things we do except perhaps making music and dancing. When we make music we don't do it in order to reach a certain point, such as the end of the composition. If that were the purpose of music then obviously the fastest players would be the best. Also, when we are dancing we are not aiming to arrive at a particular place on the floor as in a journey. When we dance, the journey itself is the point, as when we play music the playing itself is the point. And exactly the same thing is true in meditation. Meditation is the discovery that the point of life is always arrived at in the immediate moment.” ~ Alan Watt

Robin's note

I have often tried to meditate, and found that I can not stay focussed, some one told me that meditation was akin to day dreaming, and that I understand because as a child I did a lot of daydreaming, but I did that because it was not pleasant whe I was in reality, it was my 

escape,
Now I think we have to use meditation to see where we are at, and understand that no matter where we are it is in  fact part of the journey.
Obviously, I need to work more on this

Personal notes

Some where today I read a blog about a woman who had a mother who did not love her. I read her story and found that we were alike in several instances. Her mother was a self possessed model who did not want her child. Mine was a 17 year old girl who married a 33 year old man with 2 children in his home. She thought she was getting a position as mine managers wife, he was getting a 17 year old bride and some one to look after his kids. It was a bad bargain all around. I remember our first meeting, she told my brother who was 5, I was 3, that she wasn't our mother and now get out of the house until we were called in.When we were called in I was always sent to my room because I was being punished for something I had done wrong. My brother would just look at her and scream "I hate you"I t never got better than that, I could go on for hours and hours about all the pain my brother and I went through, but   ****News*** THAT WAS THEN , THIS IS NOW.. These words were what made me see every thing in a different light. I hated myself because I was never able to feel love or affection, and I grew up that way , and I had no self esteem until I was 57 years old, and I took a life skills coaching course. there I heard stories better than my own and some much worse, and we were all searching for a way to be able to love ourselves, we didn't know that, that was just something every one of us needed. and I suspect that there  are a lot more people out there who need to learn that exact same thing
If were are not able to love ourselves we can not let others love us, we do not feel worthy, and most of the time push love or caring away, after all how can any one love us if we can not love ourselves.
But as I said that was then and this is now, and I know that I am a warm loving ,caring person, and yes I do want and need love, and am more than willing to give it as well.

Taken from Blog of T2T

(1)   Many of us get into the habit of always wanting more than we have in this present moment, but this is mainly down to our view of life in comparison to others who seem to be better off. You may not be consciously aware of this comparison, but if we contrasted our lives to others less fortunate than ourselves then we would be far more grateful for what we have today.

(2)   Question your beliefs. The quality of our lives is determined by our beliefs. A lot of our beliefs are not even our own as we have been groomed by our parents, peers and society in general to conform to a certain structure. Take an inventory of your life thus far to see where you may have limiting beliefs and contemplate the importance of holding on to them or whether it’s time to let them go.

(3)   Take an inventory of your life up till this point and ask yourself if you are in the same situation, physically, mentally and emotionally as you where last month, year or even decade. Then ask yourself if your life is being played out on automatic pilot.

(4)   Next time you’re faced with a situation that is calling out for you to take action, don’t fob it off because you are afraid to take it on. Life is too damn short to be second guessing your capabilities or being too afraid to face failure. Embrace every obstacle in your life as an opportunity to grow and expand your arsenal of strengths as you will undoubtedly always learn a valuable lesson.

(5)   Every single thought you have is an energy which has a direct effect on the reality you perceive. Weak and scattered thoughts are real forces, strong and concentrated thoughts are also real forces. Our reality is created by the force and power of the thoughts we entertain, whether those thoughts are automatic or consciously and purposely created. It's your choice.

(6)   We know that the mind cannot tell the difference between what is imagined or what is real. Every day we should be inserting thoughts of health, abundance, joy and success into our minds. Every day we should be making a conscious effort to create the reality we want by only thinking thoughts that benefit our growth. When this law is used in accordance with the law of control, there is no limit to your potential.

(7)   The good news is that you can change your thoughts at any time. When you start to look at things in a positive way then your positive thoughts will attract more of the same. You then begin to create your day (reality) with more possibilities simply because your mind is in a much more creative state.

(8)   Remember, the way you feel about yourself, others, and life in general is a direct reflection of the way you communicate with yourself. Start from today to make a conscious effort to communicate with yourself the way you would want others to communicate to you.

(9)   If you solely depend on others for your emotional fulfillment, then you haven’t found your true self yet. You give away your power and control when you depend on others to make you happy. There’s nothing outside of you that you haven’t already got inside of you. Accept once and for all that you are indeed...enough.

(10)   There’s something lacking in the mind of a person who tries too hard to be liked. If you want everybody to like you then you must do what everybody agrees with, and that’s just not possible. Be yourself, and for god sake…that means being unique...different...YOU!