Monday, July 15, 2013
hero's death
A true friend doesn’t just talk of caring about you. They walk, rhumba and salsa their talk. They’re there when you need ‘em―and even when you say you don’t need ‘em―but really kinda do.
A true friend always tells you the truth―including the stuff you haven’t been truthful about yourself.
You feel safe to talk to them about serious things―or the most absolutely goofiest things.
Plus you can sit in silence with them and still feel understood.
A true friend roots for blessing to happen for you―and they do what they can to be one of your blessings
Found this on face book thought it was worth saving
Responsibility - Pookeys poem
Responsibility
~Pookey's Poems
~Pookey's Poems
You want to be taken serious But you don’t want to do the work Time to get off your butt And do the promises you start
Wanting responsibility Means you can be relied on And not following through Means you’ve played us a con
Good intentions get you so far It works for only for a while When you string us along Your word will mean nothing at all
Be respectful of your family And not lie to their face Because it just may come back Like a slap across the face
So don’t be surprised When the consequences are weighed They might come from your pocket Or our promises made
So come clean with the lies We can work it all out But don’t bite the hand that feeds you You don’t want to go without
Wanting responsibility Means you can be relied on And not following through Means you’ve played us a con
Good intentions get you so far It works for only for a while When you string us along Your word will mean nothing at all
Be respectful of your family And not lie to their face Because it just may come back Like a slap across the face
So don’t be surprised When the consequences are weighed They might come from your pocket Or our promises made
So come clean with the lies We can work it all out But don’t bite the hand that feeds you You don’t want to go without
Rant from the house
I am so tired and angry, mostly at myself for not being true to myself. I have a sort of friend, at one time I thought him to be my soulmate but , he proved time and time again that he was not. we separated and even knowing what kind of person he is I still wanted him back. Not to live with but rather as friend,
I was convinced that I could tolerate him in a friendship manner, but again I am questioning even that move.
All I know is when we are together I am happy, but with reservations, and when we are apart I wonder what he is up to.
This is where the anger comes in because I have kept a distance between us, he has chosen to treat me with far less consideration that I deserve.
My question to myself is has my keeping a distance from him and his visiting other women friends, in my mind he has reverted to his old ways, and this is not just with me but he also did this with his wife. I know he feels that he has to have as many admirers as possible hanging on his coat tails, and I know he doesn't give a fig for any of us,
All he wants is the pampering and petting from all of us,
Now knowing this and I do, I am so angry with myself for hanging on to such a despicable person. I know what he is like and yet I call him and try to keep him as a friend, when I am treated like one of the haram.
I hate this as it makes me feel so used and shoddy.
I have never had a lot of friends and possibly that is why the ones I do have I treasure, and perhaps I expect that in return. Thus the feeling of being used.
The only recourse I can possibly see is to cut off this ally of despair and find my own way.
I am not dumb, I do know that when I am on my own I feel less than, but in this situation I am less than., the feeling I can work through, the situation is what it is, and that will not change, so I must.
I was convinced that I could tolerate him in a friendship manner, but again I am questioning even that move.
All I know is when we are together I am happy, but with reservations, and when we are apart I wonder what he is up to.
This is where the anger comes in because I have kept a distance between us, he has chosen to treat me with far less consideration that I deserve.
My question to myself is has my keeping a distance from him and his visiting other women friends, in my mind he has reverted to his old ways, and this is not just with me but he also did this with his wife. I know he feels that he has to have as many admirers as possible hanging on his coat tails, and I know he doesn't give a fig for any of us,
All he wants is the pampering and petting from all of us,
Now knowing this and I do, I am so angry with myself for hanging on to such a despicable person. I know what he is like and yet I call him and try to keep him as a friend, when I am treated like one of the haram.
I hate this as it makes me feel so used and shoddy.
I have never had a lot of friends and possibly that is why the ones I do have I treasure, and perhaps I expect that in return. Thus the feeling of being used.
The only recourse I can possibly see is to cut off this ally of despair and find my own way.
I am not dumb, I do know that when I am on my own I feel less than, but in this situation I am less than., the feeling I can work through, the situation is what it is, and that will not change, so I must.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Friday, July 5, 2013
An excellent description of my life borrowed from Little Buddha and Authored by Tejal Patel
Announcement: Wish you could change your past? Take a 5-minute quiz to feel better about life!
Becoming More Authentic: Accept Yourself and Stop Seeking Approval
By Tejal Patel
smiling
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~E.E. Cummings
For most of my life, I was a chameleon. I stayed under the radar, hoping I’d blend in and not draw attention to myself. I was full of self-doubt, so I molded my personality and beliefs based on my company. I traded my authentic self for the security of being liked by my family and friends because of my fear of being judged.
By suppressing my opinions, I was perceived as easy going, but at what cost? I disrespected myself by allowing others to influence major decisions in my life. I didn’t trust myself to make choices for myself.
I withheld what I needed from others and was unable to communicate my emotions. My frustration of not being heard turned into anger whenever I did share my feelings with my family and significant other. In return I experienced anxiety, guilt, shame, anger, and self-loathing. That was a huge price to pay so others would accept and like me.
I become addicted to my story of the “broken girl” who compromised her integrity because her voice and emotions were neglected by her parents. I used my victim story to serve as an excuse for my bad behavior.
If I was “perceived” as a victim, I didn’t have to be held accountable for my bad choices.
I learned how to use others to get the love and attention I didn’t give myself. I defined my self-worth by comparing myself to others. I tried to be perceived as “perfect,” so I created unattainable standards that left me disconnected.
During my mid twenties I became exhausted of worrying about being inconsistent and acting differently around different people. I became disconnected to others and wasn’t able to cultivate meaningful relationships.
It requires real vulnerability to be authentic. What if I show my true colors and people don’t like the real me? Honestly, even as I write this article and think about people reading about my flaws it scares the bejesus out of me.
By 27, from the outside my life looked great, but on the inside I was on the verge of a breakdown. I was ready to create a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
I realized the world needs us to show up and share our gifts. There is more risk hiding our gifts from the world than expressing them. Our unexpressed ideas, dreams and gifts don’t go away. They destroy our worthiness and confidence.
There is no shortcut to authenticity. It requires commitment and real inner work. I dove deeply into my emotional mess and started feeling the pain I had repressed. I made the daily commitment to take the following steps to be more authentic:
Step 1: Forgive and love yourself.
I had to forgive myself for my past mistakes. My ego enjoyed replaying my bad choices and punishing me by making me feel unworthy of love. By cultivating kindness towards myself, I honored and accepted the past, learned my lessons, and started loving myself.
What Can You Do: Consider how you can learn from your past so you can do better going forward. Always be kind to yourself because you can only ever do your best. Be content with that.
Step 2: Be willing to make a change and own your mistakes.
I found the willingness to embrace my imperfections and shared them with others. I started speaking and writing about my challenges through my vlogs on my website. I had to acknowledge some unpleasant truths about myself. The biggest one was admitting I enjoyed my “victim” story. I felt it served me by getting me sympathy and attention from others. By humbly owning my mistakes, I repaired my self-worth and confidence.
What You can Do: Commit to making a change. Get clear and admit why you hold on to your pain. Why do you think it serves you?
Step 3: Create a daily practice.
I created a daily practice of living authentically. I took care of my mind, body, and spirit and nurtured a loving relationship with myself. I looked to those who already lived authentically and noticed a pattern of traits they master. Below, I’ve listed the most common attributes all authentic people share.
What You Can Do: If you feel disconnected or unable to speak your truth, identify which traits you need to cultivate in your life and create an intention to become authentic. Do the necessary inner work to reconnect to your truth and your authenticity will radiate through you.
The traits I’ve identified as common to authentic people:
Mindfulness.
Authentic people accept their life experiences and feel the emotions that arise. They don’t repress their feelings and let them fester up. Anxiety and guilt arise from not being present. If we doubt our ability to handle challenges in the future, we create anxiety. Guilt results from feeling bad about past mistakes or people we have hurt. Authentic people experience life challenges from a place of love, forgiveness, and gratitude.
Self-respect.
Authentic people are impeccable when they speak to themselves, about themselves and others. They are mindful of the energy behind words and believe they are worthy of love and peace of mind. They have a healthy approach to life by knowing there will always be naysayers, and their opinions don’t matter.
Courage.
Authentic people create their own rules based on the standards that resonate with them. They have the courage to live their lives based on what they believe is right. This type of empowerment gives them the inner strength to withstand temptation and build self-confidence. When you have the courage to share your shame and guilt, they no longer have power over you.
Boldness.
Authentic people don’t allow their fears to prevent them being themselves. If you are focused on being true to yourself in every moment, you are less concerned about the potential for rejection from others. Nothing is more liberating than being yourself as fully as you know how.
Being authentic is a daily practice. It is a moment-by-moment choice of embracing your truth and being fearless enough to share it with the world. When you have nothing to hide and you can freely be yourself with everyone, there is a profound peace and confidence you will exude to the world.
Photo by Stella Dauer
Avatar of Tejal Patel
About Tejal Patel
Tejal Patel is a former divorce attorney and mediator who reinvented her life and became a new generation spiritual inspirer and children’s yoga teacher. Tejal created Astitva Seekers, a place she inspires others to spread love, live consciously and create lasting happiness. Get Daily Inspiration on Facebook and Twitte
Becoming More Authentic: Accept Yourself and Stop Seeking Approval
By Tejal Patel
smiling
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~E.E. Cummings
For most of my life, I was a chameleon. I stayed under the radar, hoping I’d blend in and not draw attention to myself. I was full of self-doubt, so I molded my personality and beliefs based on my company. I traded my authentic self for the security of being liked by my family and friends because of my fear of being judged.
By suppressing my opinions, I was perceived as easy going, but at what cost? I disrespected myself by allowing others to influence major decisions in my life. I didn’t trust myself to make choices for myself.
I withheld what I needed from others and was unable to communicate my emotions. My frustration of not being heard turned into anger whenever I did share my feelings with my family and significant other. In return I experienced anxiety, guilt, shame, anger, and self-loathing. That was a huge price to pay so others would accept and like me.
I become addicted to my story of the “broken girl” who compromised her integrity because her voice and emotions were neglected by her parents. I used my victim story to serve as an excuse for my bad behavior.
If I was “perceived” as a victim, I didn’t have to be held accountable for my bad choices.
I learned how to use others to get the love and attention I didn’t give myself. I defined my self-worth by comparing myself to others. I tried to be perceived as “perfect,” so I created unattainable standards that left me disconnected.
During my mid twenties I became exhausted of worrying about being inconsistent and acting differently around different people. I became disconnected to others and wasn’t able to cultivate meaningful relationships.
It requires real vulnerability to be authentic. What if I show my true colors and people don’t like the real me? Honestly, even as I write this article and think about people reading about my flaws it scares the bejesus out of me.
By 27, from the outside my life looked great, but on the inside I was on the verge of a breakdown. I was ready to create a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
I realized the world needs us to show up and share our gifts. There is more risk hiding our gifts from the world than expressing them. Our unexpressed ideas, dreams and gifts don’t go away. They destroy our worthiness and confidence.
There is no shortcut to authenticity. It requires commitment and real inner work. I dove deeply into my emotional mess and started feeling the pain I had repressed. I made the daily commitment to take the following steps to be more authentic:
Step 1: Forgive and love yourself.
I had to forgive myself for my past mistakes. My ego enjoyed replaying my bad choices and punishing me by making me feel unworthy of love. By cultivating kindness towards myself, I honored and accepted the past, learned my lessons, and started loving myself.
What Can You Do: Consider how you can learn from your past so you can do better going forward. Always be kind to yourself because you can only ever do your best. Be content with that.
Step 2: Be willing to make a change and own your mistakes.
I found the willingness to embrace my imperfections and shared them with others. I started speaking and writing about my challenges through my vlogs on my website. I had to acknowledge some unpleasant truths about myself. The biggest one was admitting I enjoyed my “victim” story. I felt it served me by getting me sympathy and attention from others. By humbly owning my mistakes, I repaired my self-worth and confidence.
What You can Do: Commit to making a change. Get clear and admit why you hold on to your pain. Why do you think it serves you?
Step 3: Create a daily practice.
I created a daily practice of living authentically. I took care of my mind, body, and spirit and nurtured a loving relationship with myself. I looked to those who already lived authentically and noticed a pattern of traits they master. Below, I’ve listed the most common attributes all authentic people share.
What You Can Do: If you feel disconnected or unable to speak your truth, identify which traits you need to cultivate in your life and create an intention to become authentic. Do the necessary inner work to reconnect to your truth and your authenticity will radiate through you.
The traits I’ve identified as common to authentic people:
Mindfulness.
Authentic people accept their life experiences and feel the emotions that arise. They don’t repress their feelings and let them fester up. Anxiety and guilt arise from not being present. If we doubt our ability to handle challenges in the future, we create anxiety. Guilt results from feeling bad about past mistakes or people we have hurt. Authentic people experience life challenges from a place of love, forgiveness, and gratitude.
Self-respect.
Authentic people are impeccable when they speak to themselves, about themselves and others. They are mindful of the energy behind words and believe they are worthy of love and peace of mind. They have a healthy approach to life by knowing there will always be naysayers, and their opinions don’t matter.
Courage.
Authentic people create their own rules based on the standards that resonate with them. They have the courage to live their lives based on what they believe is right. This type of empowerment gives them the inner strength to withstand temptation and build self-confidence. When you have the courage to share your shame and guilt, they no longer have power over you.
Boldness.
Authentic people don’t allow their fears to prevent them being themselves. If you are focused on being true to yourself in every moment, you are less concerned about the potential for rejection from others. Nothing is more liberating than being yourself as fully as you know how.
Being authentic is a daily practice. It is a moment-by-moment choice of embracing your truth and being fearless enough to share it with the world. When you have nothing to hide and you can freely be yourself with everyone, there is a profound peace and confidence you will exude to the world.
Photo by Stella Dauer
Avatar of Tejal Patel
About Tejal Patel
Tejal Patel is a former divorce attorney and mediator who reinvented her life and became a new generation spiritual inspirer and children’s yoga teacher. Tejal created Astitva Seekers, a place she inspires others to spread love, live consciously and create lasting happiness. Get Daily Inspiration on Facebook and Twitte