borrowed from a post on face book

your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.Don't be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other peoples thinking .Don't  let the noise of others opinions drown out your inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become, Every thing else is secondary.

this prayer I totally understand and love

Saint Theresa's Prayer

May today there be peace within. 
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. 
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. 
May you be content knowing you are a child of God. 
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing,

My Depression is gone

When I woke up this morning I felt different, and couldn't quite put my finger on it, and with in a few moment I realized that for the past few days I have actually felt happy,  I feel so much better, normal is the word i am looking for,I am not sure if it is finally being over Jim or what, all I know is I feel wonderful and all is great in my world.

Today I am so grateful

The more I think about my history of relationships I am truly grateful that I am on my own. I believe that I have learned a great deal about myself, as well am able to resist changing myself to some one else s idea of what and  who I should be.
Being very familiar with my ways of attracting and trying to keep a man in my life , I believe I must change, and in my opinion, have.
Now I am not willing to settle for less than what I want in a partner, I am not willing to give up my wants, need, and desire to please a man. I will not be a nurse nor a purse. I will find a partner that will respect me as I am, honor and protect me. Some one who wants all that I do and is more than willing to work with me rather than try to get me to agree.
I know he is out there some where, and I am equally positive that I will meet and recognize him. That I will be the partner he has spent a long time looking for.
Today I am happy, and all is good in my world

Merry Christmas

I am feeling a bit more settled, I was in a tailspin about Jim one minute I kept thinking I had made a mistake and wanted to try again, then I would remember what it really was like living with him and I would think I had made the right decision. Well on the 23 he phoned me and told me he has given a ring to an old flame , some one who he would seek out when I was giving him a rough time, I do not believe he was doing any thing but talking but she kept telling him I was no good for him and for him to leave, Well he is all hers and that is going to be the most toxic mix that I have ever witnessed .I can not see this doing him any good and I do not say that in glee, but rather concern as he is 70 and very easily upset and depressed. Both Rita (his wife) and I believe that it is going to be a disaster, and I feel sort of sad as he is blind  to what is going on, but that being said he blindly believes he can deal with it
I can only say "go and be happy in the life you have chosen" (Charles Dickens)

permission granted

Are you waiting for permission?

For years (and even now, if I’m honest) I waited for permission.

I needed confirmation from this person or an OK from that authority. I needed someone to say my idea was good enough, that I was on target or at least getting close.

And then it hit me.

I was waiting for reassurance that my idea would be accepted. But, by whom?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized there wasn’t a committee in the sky judging whether or not my idea was good enough. There wasn’t a single, all-knowing voice granting or denying me permission.

There wasn’t a set of guidelines that said: Yes, you are savvy enough or smart enough or worthy of this. Go get ’em tiger.

In truth, I was free to do what I wanted to do. It was OK.

I didn’t need someone else to tell me to go for it. I didn’t need someone else to do it first. I didn’t need anyone’s approval.

If something sounded good, I was free to try it. Of course, it might not work. But that isn’t the point.

The point is freedom. There was no more waiting, only ideas to mold and plans to act on.

I hereby grant you lifelong permission.

I know I’m different from most (don’t get me started!), but chances are good that you’re waiting just as I did.

You’re waiting for approval, for acceptance, for permission.

And though you don’t need any of that, I’m giving it to you just in case the message above isn’t enough to soothe your worried mind.

I grant you permission.

I grant you permission to be yourself. I grant you permission to take that brilliant idea you have and run with it. I grant you permission to live outside the norm and to hop-skip-jump to the beat of your own quirky drummer.

I grant you permission to do things you’ve never done.

I grant you permission to reach out to other people in ways you never have, pushing yourself past where it feels comfortable, but where it feels real.

I grant you permission to say what you think and to feel what you feel.

I grant you permission to stop doing what you think we want you to do. We don’t want you to do that anyway.

I grant you permission, my friend, to do, to be, and to have all the things that quiet little voice of hope whispers in your ear.

Don’t wait. Don’t linger. Make something happen.

You can do it. It’s OK.

charity, has lost its good intention

I just read an email, about a "food for all summit meeting" that is going to be held on November 30. I will not join this group because I am sick and tired of seeing people with possibly good intentions trying to help the less fortunate and in this case starving children. I admire their intentions and wish them well, but every time there is a call for help and we step up to the plate, example 911 and Haiti, the actual people never see the results of these programs. Yes the gather huge amounts of money and supplies and then the greedy people step in and take their share 90% off the top and then there are all those people that must be paid to deliver, organize. and distribute what pitiful amount is left, and who is saved, generally not one poor soul that needed desperately the aid to begin with,. Charity has become a big business and there are very few charities where by the end dollar actually gets to the person for which the charity is held.
I know there are those who say even if only a few people are saved it is a job well done, but there has to be a way that people can help others and their effort not be in vain.

thoughts for today

I seem to be running around in circles. I find something that I believe will aid my life and go whole hog and then I seem to loose momentum.I have to question my motives, when I start out I am looking forward to what will happen, and then for some reason I give up.
I honestly believe this is self sabotage, in one way or another, and perhaps I should discover why I keep doing this to my self.
To the best of my knowledge I am not a horrible nor a bad person. Yes I have done some thing wrong, but from childhood I have always felt unworthy.
this could be a part of my learning as a child that my step mother didn't want me or my brother around. And yes this woman was not a very nice person and left a lot of scars in my life. But I was a child, now I am a grandmother and still he cutting words seem to dominate my life.
How I will ever get bast this worthless, useless feeling is beyond me, and that is sad as It is taking away any Chance of advancement I try.
How do I start today with this is a whole new day, what happened yesterday or a life time ago, can not affect me. I am better than that .

great information from T2T, borrowed with thanks

1… Thoughts motivated by fear are based around an imaginary reality. We don’t know for sure that an outcome is going to happen the way our doubtful mind tells us it will, so it’s fair to assume these thoughts can’t possibly be true until we actually push through and see for ourselves. Accepting our fearful thoughts as true creates a limited consciousness, letting them pass by leads us to experience the ACTUAL truth.

2… The cure for fear is to experience the thoughts and physical sensations in that moment. This requires awareness and it is the foundation of all that is true. Resisting fear gives it more power, accept that it is nothing more than a thought and your thoughts only have as much power as you allow them to have.

3… Fear is not something we can get rid of, no more than we can get rid of love. The goal here is to accept everything in our lives completely. Don’t cringe, worry or think you are in any way weak when you feel fearful, remind yourself that it is a part of life and the sooner you learn to accept this fact, the sooner you will realize it can be controlled. Fear is not the problem…it is our reaction to fear that creates the problem.

4… Never forget that fear is meant to keep you safe. Unfortunately in this day and age it has gotten out of control. We are programmed to be fearful of everything these days through disgraceful news publications, economic crises, pollution and so on. The fact is though, you have the power to choose what to follow. Limit your exposure to bad news and replace it with the opposite, after a short time you will begin to realize your thoughts are much more positive and your actions follow in kind.

5… We never know for sure what’s going to happen from one moment to the next. Fear makes you think that something negative is going to happen when in reality we don’t know if this is true. Learn to embrace the unknown, learn to be content in the moment and ride the wave at its peak without worrying about whats around the corner or what MIGHT happen down the line. Be as present as possible and flow through life with the expectation that good things are going to happen. In fact, recognize all the good things in your life right now and give gratitude for what you have rather than wishing for the things you have not.

Life is a matter of perception…perception is a matter of mind, and you are the one who controls that.

dealing with depression

Every year around this time November through  February  I live with depression. I am suffering with it today and this year it seems twice as bad as before.
Perhaps because I was living with Jim was the reason why it wasn't so bad, I had other things to occupy my mind, and was much more busy with him.
Again I have been scouring the internet for inspirational help, and most of it says if you set your mind to it you can change any thing.
My question is if your mind is telling you every negative thing in the world how in God's name do you turn it off from all the negativity?.
I feel as if I am in a battle of wills with in my self and the dam depression is winning.
I know this will end in the spring, because it has for the past 10 years, but I don't know how to deal with it until it lifts off.I feel as if i am stuck in a cage with no doors, and all the elements are coming at me.
So do I hunker down and try to survive, do I stand against the oncoming blast and come out bruised and battered?.
I know the answer is to just keep busy, and ignore all the awful feelings, but that is what my mind tells me I can't do, so I become more angry and frustrated. and sink even lower.
I do not want to spend the next 5 months in a huge pity party, because it is no party but a prison cell.

Note to self

Borowed from the Be Well news letter

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow~ Author Unknown

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry.

Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares, Its faults and blunders, Its aches and pains.

Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.

All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.

We cannot undo a single act we performed.

We cannot erase a single word we said.

Yesterday is gone.

The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow.

With its possible adversities, Its burdens, Its large promise and poor performance.

Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

Tomorrow's Sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise.

Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.

This just leaves only one day . . . Today.

Any person can fight the battles of just one day.

It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity's - yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.

It is not the experience of today that drives people mad.

It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

Let us therefore live but one day at a time.

wonderful wisdom in this story

An excerpt from The Strangest Secret by Earl Nightingale

George Bernard Shaw said, "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them." Well, it's pretty apparent, isn't it? And every person who discovered this believed (for a while) that he was the first one to work it out. We become what we think about. Now, it stands to reason that a person who is thinking about a concrete and worthwhile goal is going to reach it, because that's what he's thinking about. And we become what we think about. Conversely, the person who has no goal, who doesn't know where he's going, and whose thoughts must therefore be thoughts of confusion, anxiety, fear and worry — his life becomes one of frustration, fear, anxiety and worry. And if he thinks about nothing...he becomes nothing. How does it work? Why do we become what we think about? Well, I'll tell you how it works, as far as we know. To do this, I want to tell you about a situation that parallels the human mind. Suppose a farmer has some land, and it's good, fertile land. The land gives the farmer a choice; he may plant in that land whatever he chooses. The land doesn't care. It's up to the farmer to make a decision. We're comparing the human mind with the land because the mind, like the land, doesn't care what you plant in it. It will return what you plant, but it doesn't care what you plant. Now, let's say that the farmer has two seeds in his hand — one is a seed of corn, the other is nightshade, a deadly poison. He digs two little holes in the earth and he plants both seeds — one corn, the other nightshade. He covers up the holes, waters and takes care of the land...and what will happen? Invariably, the land will return what was planted. As it's written in the Bible, "As ye sow, so shall ye reap." Remember, the land doesn't care. It will return poison in just as wonderful abundance as it will corn. So up come the plants — one corn, one poison. The human mind is far more fertile, far more incredible and mysterious than the land, but it works the same way. It doesn't care what we plant...success...or failure. A concrete, worthwhile goal...or confusion, misunderstanding, fear, anxiety, and so on. But what we plant it must return to us. You see, the human mind is the last great, unexplored continent on earth. It contains riches beyond our wildest dreams. It will return anything we want to plant.

every day I learn several new things that now make sense

Taught2Think: Positive thoughts for Positive results

Your success in life is 90% the result of how your brain functions. (Conscious and subconscious) A mere 10% is due to the system or career path you choose. According to Dr. Richard Restak, one of the world’s leading neuroscience researchers, over 90% of what has been learned about the human brain has occurred since 1997.Also, over 80% of what was believed to be true before 1990 has now been proven to be false.

Most of what you have been told throughout your life has held you back. Stop following the herd and come into your own. Your thoughts are either limiting you or excelling you in this moment. Take a look at your life and if there are weaknesses that you are struggling to overcome, remember, it is your thoughts that create these situations, either by your ACTIONS or your REACTIONS. If you ever utter the phrase “this is just who I am” or “it’s just how I’m built, I can’t help it” then you need to wake up and stop being a victim. If you live each day playing the cards you were dealt, then I’m sorry to tell you that’s NOT living…that’s existing and nothing more.

If you are a healthy human being capable of making your own choices then everything that’s in your life right now (good or bad) is all your own doing. Stop blaming others and start taking responsibility for your life. If you want to do something…just do it regardless of anyone or anything outside of you. Life is not a gamble, it is predictable to the point of the choices you make, and the first place to start is by choosing your thoughts correctly

borowed and grateful for wisdom from T2T

Taught2Think: Positive thoughts for Positive results

As a wise man once said “nobody is you-er than you” so this is something to keep in mind. Everyone Else’s opinion of you is nothing more than an interpretation in their mind based on all the beliefs, judgments and programs that person has had to deal with throughout their lives. Nothing they could possibly say or do can hurt you or make you angry, sad or whatever else, that’s all “you” and your reaction is simply based around “your” interpretation and nothing more.




Taught2Think: Positive thoughts for Positive results

Your mind will fight you every step of the way if you try to make big changes in your life all at once. Think about this for a moment.


'Slight shifts create seismic differences over time'


The law of accumulation is incredibly powerful.

In other words, your ability to reach your goal faster and easier is compounded with each step, no matter how small

borrowed from Daily om, excellent thoughts

Your Perfect Teacher
Life

All the situations in our lives, from the insignificant to the major, teach us exactly what we need to be learning.

Many of us long to find a spiritual teacher or guru. We may feel unsure of how to practice our spirituality without one, or we may long for someone who has attained a higher level of insight to lead the way for us. Some of us have been looking for years to no avail and feel frustrated and even lost. The good news is that the greatest teacher you could ever want is always with you—that is your life. 

The people and situations we encounter every day have much to teach us when we are open to receiving their wisdom. Often we don’t recognize our teachers because they may not look or act like our idea of a guru, yet they may embody great wisdom. In addition, some people teach us by showing us what we don’t want to do. All the situations in our lives, from the insignificant to the major, conspire to teach us exactly what we need to be learning at any given time. Patience, compassion, perseverance, honesty, letting go—all these are covered in the classroom of the teacher that is your life.

We can help ourselves to remember this perfect teacher each day with a few simple words. Each morning we might find a moment to say, “I acknowledge and honor the teacher that is my life. May I be wise enough to recognize the teachers and lessons that I encounter today, and may I be open to receiving their wisdom.” We might also take some time each day to consider what our lives are trying to teach us at this time. A difficult phase in your relationship with your child may be teaching you to let go. The homeless person you see every day may be showing you the boundaries of your compassion and generosity. A spate of lost items may be asking you to be more present to physical reality. Trust your intuition on the nature of the lesson at hand, work at your own pace, and ask as many questions as you want. Your life has all the answers. 

This is a contribution by Kelly Reynolds

“Love does not obey our expectations; it obeys our intentions.” ~Lloyd Strom

To say that love hasn’t obeyed my expectations would be the understatement of the century.

I have not been lucky in love. I’ve been blessed with some amazing moments over the years, but somehow have managed to choose partners who did not want what I wanted, did not feel what I felt, and did not want to walk beside me into a future together.

I have really had to sit with this and try and figure out what part of this was my doing, and how to change it, because this year I once again chose a partner who was not walking with me. Except this time not only was he not walking with me but he was subtly trying to kick my feet from under me every chance he got.

I once again entered into a relationship desperate to find love and instead found a beautiful disaster. Love is a blessing, this we know. Unrequited love is toxic, and it can eat you alive.

Falling in love can be a slippery slope, regardless of any protective barriers we may have built. It can ease in like a light a mist that settles itself beautifully over your life, or it can blindside you.

Often we fall in love with a person before we have fully gotten to know them. By this point it’s too late—you’ve already stretched your heart for someone capable of bruising it. This is what love requires: utmost vulnerability and trust. Hopes and expectations rise along with the awareness that it can slip away.

I suggest we do our best to live in the moment. Love is elastic. It stretches and retracts and changes shape constantly. It is very uncertain. One day you are over the moon and the next disillusioned.

The elastic can break. You can re-tie it, but there is now a knot. Suddenly that perfect perception of the other person is a little bit tainted. Something rocked the pedestal. Sometimes we can recover from this, sometimes we can’t. 

Loyalty and commitment teach us that we are not to walk away from people that we love. Buddhism teaches us to love without expectation. There are a lot of belief systems about love and I question them often. If your love is shared and you are both happy I assume you wouldn’t have to question love at all.

But if your relationship, be it friendship or romantic love, is unbalanced and one person is hurting, how much is enough? How many pieces are supposed to break and how damaged can we allow ourselves to get before we throw these belief systems out the window and accept that this type of love isn’t healthy?

How do we do what is best for ourselves without damaging the heart and mind of someone else in the process?

Love and relationships require work and responsibility. We have to learn when to stretch and when to break.

For those of you who have been blessed to find a romantic love that is equally shared, I truly admire this and I have set the intention to find it one day. I think it all starts with being aware, open, and ready.

For a long time I didn’t believe I would find love so I subconsciously chose partners who I knew would be a challenge. I am no longer interested in this challenge. I told myself when my last relationship failed that I would never put myself in a situation where I didn’t know where I stood in someone’s life again; where I felt unsteady and unloved.

Unfortunately I did it again this year and I can promise you that it was the last time. I now know what I would like my relationship with my future partner to feel like, and that is the first step towards being open to receiving this gift. Love is a gift.

I have been tested often this year and with this came the opportunity to learn lessons. I have lived my life openly. I have experienced love and trusted the process. I fell in love, watched it grow, watched it change, and watched it fall apart.

I felt the pain, and still continue to recover from it. My heart is healing and that is a slow process, but it was necessary to hurt to have learned what I learned. For this I am grateful. I’m also grateful to my friends and family who helped me to pick up the pieces when I didn’t have the energy to do it alone.

8 things I have learned about relationships so far:

1. If there is a feeling better than love, I have not felt it. Take the risk and dive in with everything you have.

2. Enjoy the good times together as they are happening and be grateful for them.

3. Stay out of the future and in the moment. Now is certain.

4. Protect both your heart and your partner’s, whether the love is still there or not.We are human and we deserve kindness. We don’t need to add to the burdens we already carry by hurting others. Trust me, it doesn’t make thing better.

5. If your relationship starts to crumble, know when to put it down and let it be. Don’t grind it into dust.

6. You cannot continue to give to another person when you are not at your best; when you are so broken, so beaten down that you have no energy left. When talking has failed and words no longer have meaning, this is when you know it is over. When you feel like this, you have to do what is best for the relationship and for each other and wave the white flag to avoid further damage.

7. Some things just won’t work, no matter how badly we wish they would. Sometimes the match that felt so right just isn’t. Please don’t do more damage to your heart by trying to fix something that has past its expiration date. It will leave you raw.

8. It is okay to walk away from something that hurts you. It doesn’t require blame or justification. It just requires you to stop fanning the flames. You will find love again, and next time it will feel better.

Life isn’t easy. Some things build us up and some tear us down. Our hearts expand and break and rebuild—repeatedly. We are constantly learning and changing and growing. If in love you find yourself in a sticky situation like I was, please stop picking at scabs.

Nothing good has ever come from this. Stop the cycle, and let your heart heal so you can find pure love. Surround yourself with loving relationships. Something beautiful is out there waiting for you. If you feel it on the inside, you’ll find it out there.

My gift for today

Wow, I am blown away, I was doing some affirmations, and one I had written was "never accept less than you KNOW you deserve.
this thought brings me to the men I have had in my life, I have always settled for less. My ex-husband wanted some one to keep him according to his wishes, my feelings , thoughts were not necessary.I was there to make him happy, and God help me if I didn't. After 16 years I left him, and lived on my own for almost 30 years. Then there was Jim, this man I fell head over heels in love with, I thought I had found my soul mate, He was looking for some one to replace Jan his former lover whom he has never been able to give up. He never saw me as Robin, I was a huge failure as a replacement.
Recently I have met several men. None of them are interested in Robin, they are like people looking to find a good used car, and because they had luck or problems with previous cars, they pick and choose accordingly.
So again I am not looked as a brand new experience, rather as a replacement of some one they either lost or threw away.
I am so grateful I have had this experience, it has given me an experience I needed to learn.
I now know that I am a valuable human being, that I deserve and will get the love of my life who will choose Robin because she is exactly what he is looking for, and will make his life so much the greater. I will not be a fill in, replacement for or be someones second or third choice.
What a great experience I am so happy today

A positive attitude by Lisa Gache

As an etiquette instructor, most people think my instruction revolves around lessons in poise and posture, the importance of a firm handshake, and proper table manners. What they don’t realize is that, before I get into any of the manners skills training, I begin each and every client session with a very frank conversation about the importance of a positive attitude as being essential to having good manners.

Learning how to be more positive actually led me to my interest in teaching manners in the first place. As a New Yorker, I was born with the natural tendency to look at the more cynical side of everything, often viewing the glass as half-empty rather than half-full. Growing up in a household with an unhappy parent certainly didn’t add to my ability to look on the brighter side of life. It certainly hasn’t been an easy road, however, I had the good fortune to marry someone who is eternally optimistic and has inspired me to move forward in the right direction.

A positive attitude has no prejudice. It is not bound by color, race, or religion. It does not care if one is rich or poor. Anyone has the right to display a positive attitude, and it makes that person much more attractive to others. As far as making a good first impression, a positive attitude (coupled with an ear-to-ear smile) is a sure-fire way to show others you are likable, friendly—and a full participant in your life.

When I decided to immerse myself in manners, I thought long and hard about this concept of a positive attitude and how it can affect our relationships, our interactions, and our everyday circumstances. I began to look at people of all ages and noticed how many walk around with what I call “mad on” faces, like they have the weight of the world on their shoulders, barely able to crack a smile. And I realized that having a positive attitude—like having good manners—is a choice, and requires discipline and practice.

Here are two pieces of etiquette advice that I share with my clients, and that I aspire to live by on a daily basis.

Possess a great attitude!

When you wake up each morning, choose to be upbeat and positive, as this helps to set the tone for the day. Life is one giant possibility, so why not embrace it with an open and willing attitude to try new things and take risks. You only have one lifetime, and there is no point in wallowing in negativity. Make a conscious choice to enjoy a happy and successful life.

Don’t Forget to Smile.

A smile is critical and often overlooked. Find something to be thankful for each day and put a smile on your face. This will win allies and attract friends. A smile is the most inviting of all gestures. If you smile on the outside, your insides will follow suit. Practice your smile each day in front of the mirror when brushing your teeth, and in no time you will have a perfect, authentic smile.

Beverly Hills Manners’ CEO, Lisa Gaché, is one of the foremost etiquette, manners and life skills experts.  Her educational and entertainment company, founded in 2006, is recognized for its new school approach.  Lisa has appeared in the media and contributed to various outlets, including CNN, NPR, “The Today Show,” KTLA-TV, Radio Disney, Woman’s Day, USA Today, The Los Angeles Times, The New York Post and The New York Daily News.  Her contributions to blogs and websites range from the Los Angeles Times, AOL, The Huffington Post and Weddzilla.  Gaché has also been a guest expert on number of reality shows including VH1’s “Charm School” and Discovery Channel’s “Living with Ed.”

From Arielle Ford

God/Goddess and All That Is,

In this moment I am grateful

for the healing of my heart

of EVERYTHING that would stop me

from attracting my soulmate.

In this moment I remember that my perfect,

right partner is magnetizing to me and my only

job is to rest in perfect awareness that their

heart is already joined with mine as I

"savor the waiting."

And so it is..

I love this prayer/dish/desire and plan on using it

horror story

Yesterday I went for supper at my daughters, there were several of her partners family there as well. One in particular was a man they called grandpaw. Here is a man dying on his feet literally, he is quite young under 65, He is a huge man  about 6 feet, 6 inches and I am sure he weighs well over 400 pounds, he is diabetic, he smokes like a steam engine and has many more health issues, so many he is not able to work. He told me that he has been refused long term disability because he smokes and will not loose weight.
I could barely stand near him as he is so negative and in so much pain from all his problems, but refuses to change one iota in his life style. He reminds me of some one standing in the middle of a very busy highway daring any one to hit him, it is going to happen and with him sooner rather than later. I can be stubborn about somethings but God help me if I were that bad. I will not be surprised to hear of his passing, and his family will be devastated. I know they want him to try to be healthy and there for them for many more years, but their hands are tied, and He just stands there in total denial and defiance.  When does the taking responsibility for your actions  become this sort of horror show. this man blames every one and thing but himself for his problem and expects the world to rally around his stubborn idea that he is right. I literally had to leave the room to keep from yelling at him, that he is the creator of all his own problems and that the solution lies with in his reach. I honestly believe I was wrong in walking away and not saying any thing and now I validate it with he wouldn't have listened to me any way. I will never know and it bothers me I saw a man dying on his feet and did nothing. and it makes me angry that I find myself in that sort of situation.

What to do????????

one more time I find myself obsessing about Jim, Now countless time I have gone back and read my journal entries, and I am reminded about how he, never even cared for me and only stayed with me because it was a cheap place to live and I looked after him. This still hurts like blazes, in fact I am wondering if i am obsessing over him because I want to hurt him like he hurt me.I honestly do not want him back in my life, he is way to much of a drain on my energy and bank account. But I want to keep in touch with him and know what is going on in his life, so like what is my problem.
Possibly it is I want a relationship with a man that will love me as much as I loved Jim. I know I am more than capable of having a very loving passionate life style. and I admit it I miss it terribly, it may have been all pretend with Jim but I was head over heels in love with him. And I want that kind of feeling again, I know I can feel it I just can't see it happening with some one other than Jim, and yet IT will never happen again with him, I will not let that happen.
See how crazy and mixed up I get. I have been spending hours on the computer looking for sites with inspirational sayings and thoughts to get me through these awful days of longing. I found out about the "Law of Attraction" and I believe that it truly does work, but in order for it to work you have to be very clear and concise as to what you want to happen. and I get lost between the feelings and the vision. I keep putting Jim in as the lover because that is what worked for me before and yet my mind is saying "are you out of your #$%&^^**&^@ mind you do not ever want to go back and be with that man.
I feel as if I am lost and have no idea where I am at
., and am running around in circles chasing my own tail. What to do?

an excellent read, with a lot of wisdom

The Elephant Rope
~ Author Unknown

As a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. “Well,” trainer said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”

The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?

Failure is part of learning; we should never give up the struggle in life.

written by Jason M Garcia, from It's all about women

Are you waiting for permission?

For years (and even now, if I’m honest) I waited for permission.

I needed confirmation from this person or an OK from that authority. I needed someone to say my idea was good enough, that I was on target or at least getting close.

And then it hit me.

I was waiting for reassurance that my idea would be accepted. But, by whom?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized there wasn’t a committee in the sky judging whether or not my idea was good enough. There wasn’t a single, all-knowing voice granting or denying me permission.

There wasn’t a set of guidelines that said: Yes, you are savvy enough or smart enough or worthy of this. Go get ’em tiger.

In truth, I was free to do what I wanted to do. It was OK.

I didn’t need someone else to tell me to go for it. I didn’t need someone else to do it first. I didn’t need anyone’s approval.

If something sounded good, I was free to try it. Of course, it might not work. But that isn’t the point.

The point is freedom. There was no more waiting, only ideas to mold and plans to act on.

I hereby grant you lifelong permission.

I know I’m different from most (don’t get me started!), but chances are good that you’re waiting just as I did.

You’re waiting for approval, for acceptance, for permission.

And though you don’t need any of that, I’m giving it to you just in case the message above isn’t enough to soothe your worried mind.

I grant you permission.

I grant you permission to be yourself. I grant you permission to take that brilliant idea you have and run with it. I grant you permission to live outside the norm and to hop-skip-jump to the beat of your own quirky drummer.

I grant you permission to do things you’ve never done.

I grant you permission to reach out to other people in ways you never have, pushing yourself past where it feels comfortable, but where it feels real.

I grant you permission to say what you think and to feel what you feel.

I grant you permission to stop doing what you think we want you to do. We don’t want you to do that anyway.

I grant you permission, my friend, to do, to be, and to have all the things that quiet little voice of hope whispers in your ear.

Don’t wait. Don’t linger. Make something happen.

You can do it. It’s OK.

Secrets no more

For years and years i have been a hoarder, at one time it was out of control, and some one  had to step in and help me. My home was never taken down to clean shiny you see on tv, but it was a lot less stuff around and I felt comfortable. But never comfortable enough to have some one new visit me in my home.I dreaded the days we had fire alarms and smoke detectors inspected because I had to let a stranger into my home or pay a fine and still have some one come back.When Jim lived with me , I tried to keep the hoarding down to a minimum, and he said it never bothered him. When he left I cleaned up my place and got rid of a lot of stuff, and yet I was and am still ashamed of my place,
This brings me to the present day, I made friends with a lady down the hall last march we go swimming together 3 times a week, I often visit her place and chat and have coffee, but I could never invite her into my place because of all the clutter. Yesterday my daughter was visiting me and Ann dropped over to ask me something, My daughter answered the door and of course invited her in. She talked to me a bit and asked me about the new bedding I had purchased and I told her I was not using it as it didn't look right in my bedroom, because my bedroom doesn't look like a bed room, it looks like a storage room for cloths.
Now she wants to help me make my bed room beautiful, and all sorts of stuff, and that is giving me panic attacks no end. I know she has good intentions  and means well, but honestly I don't want a beautiful bedroom. I know that sounds odd, but to me a beautiful bed room is like a show case to be looked at only and not used . I honestly can not say why I ever bought the bedding as it is a comforter and 5 fancy pillows that are beautiful but in reality a pain in the but as they end up on the floor when I go to bed or take a nap. What I have done is make more work for my self because I liked something in a store. And in fact I also own one other bedding set that is similar to this one and it to is in a box because it didn't look right.
Some how I have to find the courage to tell Ann that Yes I appreciate her wanting to help me but I do not want the room she has in her mind.

a LOVE LETTER TO MYSELF

  ROBIN'S CREED

I am a beautiful, happy healthy woman.I feel wonderful.My self confidence is back.

I am happy to do what ever it takes to live in a clean safe comfortable environment.

I am true to myself, and do not need to do any thing that is not good for me.

I will send out an aura of love, peace,and respect, and will accept the same back.

I am working every day on myself for myself.

I will every day express an attitude of gratitude for all the wonderful changes I see in my life.

I will love and respect the person I am because in this moment of time it is all perfect and as it is.